Who are we?

We are moms. We are bloggers. We are writers. We write mom lit, chick lit, and parent humor. Who knows what else will come out of our brains and on to the page.Founding mom-writer-blogger-publisher Lisa Nolan of Monkey Star Press.

My Diet Plan: Have Two Kids by Allison Carter of Go Dansker Mom


Since having my second son, I have actually been able to shed that baby weight and more.  I am trimmer now than I was before Curtis, trimmer than when I was teaching 12-15 fitness classes a week.  My diet plan?  Is it Atkins, South Beach, Paleo, grapefruit juice, a cleanse, nothing but rice cakes??  NO!  It is HAVING TWO FREAKING KIDS UNDER 5.
Honestly.  Want to shed a few pounds?? Come stay with us!!
Not only do I run around most of the day trying to keep The Bug from falling head first off a chair you wouldn’t think is hazardous and perform agility tasks like catch Curtis’s LEGO mini-fig before it goes down the vent…I also get lunch for C while balancing spinning plates on my head to entertain The Bug.  CALORIE BURN.
I also have no time to eat.  Remember that scene in A Christmas Story where as soon as the mom sits down someone else asks her for something else and she never actually has her bottom in the chair for more than 20 seconds?  TRUTH.  And a great glute toner.
I eventually stopped making myself real meals.  A breakfast smoothie on the go will do.  For lunch I stopped trying altogether.  I would end up making myself a sandwich and 2 hours later, after naps and stories and bathroom breaks from naps, it would be sitting there staring at me.  At that point instead of eating I would either get on the computer and work or, well, clean up the kitchen.
So I have taken to eating my childrens’ leftovers.  The Bug never finishes everything on his plate and Curtis doesn’t either.  In fact, they don’t seem to eat much at all.  The PC term for “picky eaters” is now “supertasters.”  My children are both supertasters.  And it kills me to throw away food.  So instead of trashing the ham roll and Colby Jack cheesestick, I pop it down my hatch while I am getting Bryant’s milk ready for his story and nap.
I know that it is hard to really count your calories when you “lightly snack” all day but given that toddler lunch leftovers are pretty unappetizing I am sure not much is getting in.
Finally, the key to my diet solution, is to make eating NOT FUN.  Want that potato chip?  Not enough to hack both of my children whining and crying in unison because they want some, too.  Want a chocolate chip cookie?  Not bad enough to try to explain to an 18 month old that “cooookk”s are for DESSERT – D.E.S.S.E.R.T. – eat some broccoli first.  If I don’t want my kids to eat it, it can’t go in my piehole.  Turns out I am way better at making sure my kids eat healthy than I am myself.
I have a hunch that my diet plan will change in a few years.  I believe that once my boys turn 12+ my trim figure will be due to the fact that my sons eat everything, not thinking to leave a crumb of Lil Debbie behind for their poor, poor mom who, in turn, has to subsist on hummus.  But I’ll share that bridge when we come to it.
Find more essays like this at Go Dansker Mom.

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How Much Wine Is In My Glass? A Science Experiment by Amanda Mushro of Questionable Choices in Parenting




Do you drink wine?  Shut up, me too!
Since it’s socially unacceptable to crack open a bottle of red at 8 AM, do you wait until your kids are asleep to booze?  Yes! Come on, this is just too strange! Wanna be best friends and get a BFF necklace like this:

BFF
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You know what else I really love, new best friend? I love science experiments. Maybe it’s because I really loved Mr. Wizard’s World as a kid. Remember that guy?
The other night I was pouring myself a glass of wine into my favorite Pottery Barn wine glass, and the Mr. Wizard in me started to think about volume. Not the volume that my daughter can reach while she is mid-tantrum, but the volume of wine that my HUGE wine glasses can actually hold.
Now I know these aren’t normal size glasses, but my days aren’t normal sized and they call for big, fancy wine glasses that can hold the amount of “Mommy Juice” needed to take the edge off the day’s tantrums, messes, clean-ups, butt wipes, nose wipes, school drop offs, school pick up… you get the idea.
So I decided to

Sorry, but you really look terrible in that shirt. Oh, and fix your hair. You're welcome. By Alisa of Ice Scream Mama



With the sun warming my face and last night’s ice cream still cool in my belly, I decided it was time to lace up my running sneakers and hit the streets for my last run of summer. Although I exercise regularly, I'm a lazy runner. Too cold and I shiver and run to the gym. Too hot and I just lay down in my own sweat and figure that counts for something.  

But yesterday, the morning weather was perfect. 

So I set out; one foot in front of the other, trip trapping down my street. It had been a while, but felt good. I missed going on autopilot through one of my routes while losing myself in my head. 

What would I think about today? I wondered and considered my options.

Would I wallow over my father’s declining state? That could get me through miles.

Or, should I think of snappy comeback to the friend who said recently said to me, “Wow, it’s so great that you can just go out without doing anything to yourself. I could never do that.”

Lacing Up After Pregnancy by Lisa Webb of Canadian Expat Mom

Lacing Up After Pregnancy by Lisa Webb of Canadian Expat Mom


A few weeks ago I decided it was time to suck it up, put on my post-pregnancy parachute panties and dig out my runners.  I was dreading it!  No one likes doing something they suck at, and there was no denying that after a year long hiatus with my running shoes, I would most definitely suck!  But I wanted my regular panties back, not the ones that were big enough to cover the hole in the ozone layer; so run I must.

It wasn’t always this way.  Four years ago, I would never have called myself a runner.  I could huff and puff my way through the odd 5k fun-run but a runner, I was not.

Then we moved to Paris in 2010, and after leaving my family and friends, quitting my job and landing on a new continent, I felt I needed something to keep me busy, challenge me and clear my head.

Writing Prompt #2-Disclaimer

Dear bloggers,

           Moms Who Write and Blog is more than just a blog full of posts by mom bloggers, we're a community of support for mom bloggers. In addition to bringing you laughs and sarcastic parental advice we want to help you succeed. We've developed these Writing Prompts to connect with you and also spark your creativity to write. We hope to inspire you!

                 Warm Regards, Lisa and Adrienn


This Writing Prompt Session is open to any blogger.

This session's topic: Write a disclaimer or letter warning someone or something about someone or something.

Here's an example from Adrienn,


Recent events have forced me to write up this disclaimer.
I plan to carry copies of it with me at all times, and hand them out on a need-to-be-warned basis.
 
Because I’m pretty sure our real estate agent found a new line of work after helping us buy our new house and then sell our old one.
And I am more than certain our recent encounter with a camper salesman could have ended with Dennis someone getting throat punched.

Join our new group: MOTHERHOOD, MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS!

Join our new group: MOTHERHOOD, MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS!
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